My Journey to Refined Minimalism
A Turn in the Road. Alfred Sisley 1873. Courtesy the Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago.
“The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” - Lin Yutang
This quote resonates deeply with my embrace of refined minimalism, a lifestyle that has evolved through a blend of upbringing, innate preferences, and life’s necessities. Some might wonder how a woman with my background arrived at this way of living. My answer lies in a simple equation: one part nurture, one part nature, and one part necessity.
The Influence of Upbringing: Nurture
From a young age, I was nurtured to appreciate quality, despite our blue-collar working-class status. While we didn’t have a lot, my family instilled in me the value of investing in enduring pieces. We always shopped at department stores like John Wanamaker’s, Pomeroy’s, and J.C. Penney for our clothes, bypassing popular discount chains. This extended to our footwear, with a tradition of buying one good pair of leather shoes that would last the entire school year. It was also understood that a quality hand-me-down was far superior to a cheap, new garment, and as a younger sister, I received my fair share.
Early exposure to thoughtful consumption profoundly shaped my adult perspective. Even in my youth, when thrift shopping, the focus was always on finding something “good,” something of lasting value. This upbringing instilled in me a deep understanding that quality reigns supreme.
Innate Preferences: Nature
Nature also played a significant role in my journey. I’ve always had a natural affinity for design. As I matured and experienced high-fashion luxury items, I developed a genuine appreciation for the craftsmanship and aesthetics. My desire to incorporate these elements into my life wasn’t about flaunting labels or wealth. Instead, it stemmed from a sincere love for well-made, beautiful objects.
Even now, my occasional indulgences in luxury items are driven by a personal connection to the piece rather than fleeting trends. This appreciation for refined items, coupled with an inherent inclination towards simple living, has always been a part of me. I approached adulthood with intention, choosing to forgo a television in my first apartment to keep my time open for spontaneity and creative pursuits. Financially, living within my means has always been a priority.
Life’s Circumstances: Necessity
The final piece of the puzzle, necessity, came later in life after becoming a mother. While I once enjoyed a more maximalist aesthetic, a “modern glamour era” filled with objects, artwork, color, and books, the arrival of my son shifted my priorities. Suddenly, a home filled with delicate items became impractical. Glass coffee tables and certain furniture had to be stored away for safety. This led to a gradual paring back, a simplification of my surroundings.
However, the true turning point came with my son’s autism diagnosis. It became clear that the need for change extended beyond decor. I had to rethink how I prioritized my time and energy to provide the necessary support for my son. Scaling back commitments and simplifying my life became essential for maintaining the energy, patience, and mental clarity required. This minimalist approach, applied across all aspects of my life, allowed me to focus on what truly mattered.
Over time, I realized that this refined minimalist lifestyle wasn’t just practical; it was better. It brought a sense of calm and peace to my environment. Less clutter meant less to clean, less to worry about, and less to replace. Now, every item I bring into my home, my wardrobe, and my life is intentional, serving a purpose and aligning with the lifestyle that best supports my son and me.
What Informs Your Choices?
This is my refined minimalism story. As we mature, many of us begin to understand what truly holds importance. We look inward to fulfill our needs, and it’s remarkable how often material possessions are a substitute for deeper emotional, mental, or spiritual needs. As we grow, we learn healthier ways to fill those gaps, allowing us to let go of the excess.
I encourage you to reflect on your own path. Why do you live the way you do? What experiences from childhood to adulthood have shaped your lifestyle? Are there changes you feel compelled to make now, empowered by a deeper understanding of yourself and your true needs? Share your thoughts on Instagram – I’d love to hear your story.
